its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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