Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
