YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize