Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
