U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
