I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
