I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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