Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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