Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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