we're blogging at a bar
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
