worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
