Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You can't special order awesome
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
