A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
