drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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