Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
