Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Randomize
