summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
