i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
