Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
