I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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