Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
