My liver just broke up with me...
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
