they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
