The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
