3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Houston, we have a blender
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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