Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize