this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
