Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize