I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
