so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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