Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
