Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
