Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
