we have officially mastered the walk of shame
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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