I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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