dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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