if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
