Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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