Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
