wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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