Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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