like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
