I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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