Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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