dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize