I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
