im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
