Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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