guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
