Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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