The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just google imaged poop.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize