I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
