We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
