she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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