So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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