i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
