Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
