its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
