Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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