I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
