Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
BRING THE BAGELS
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
